THE ATTITUDE GIRL

-desiree.tumblr.com

2010-11-19T10:20:00.001+08:00

-desiree.tumblr.com

Changes.

2010-09-19T18:11:00.000+08:00

I'm officially discarding this blog.
It have been with me for years.
I'm abandoning it now.
Reason?

I changed a new blog.
Link provided when it's appropriate.

Army.

2010-09-10T00:42:00.000+08:00

Less than a week and there he goes.
Good or bad?
Absence make the heart fonder, true?

Time to settle down and not playing around anymore then.
Find a decent, proper, permanent high pay job.
=P

No Forever F.

2010-08-11T04:54:00.000+08:00

Don't tell me this and not be there.
Don't treat me like real nice and hiding so many things from me.
Don't act like you're my best friend when all you want is to hurt me.
I will never trust you anymore!

I thought you would change after what had happened.
But no, you played it again.
Then so be it.
I had enough.
I don't care whether you really treat me as your friend.
I'm at my limit.
And you are not welcome into my world.
Not anymore.

Stop your act, drop your mask.
Maybe then, I might consider having you back as my friend.

Move Out.

2010-07-30T04:49:00.000+08:00

I have enough of your crap.
So what this fucking house is yours?
You think I like to live here?
No.
I can't wait to move out.
I can't wait to not seeing you everyday.
I can't wait to be out of your nagging range.
Who the fuck treat their guest/visitor like this?
Only you would ever do that!
Damn!
I don't care how much your monthly bill used to be.
This was how I lead my life before you move over.
And this will still be how I am going to live my life.
Like it or not, that's your own business.
Chase me out if you want.
Cause I don't give a damn about it.

Skating.

2010-07-25T02:30:00.000+08:00

I finally went skating again.
When was the last time I skated?
I think months ago.
Probably half a year.
I think I better keep a routine of going skating at least once a month.
New plan: Save up for a new pair of skate.
New resolution: Learn advance skating.
Right, let's see how long my determination can lasts this time then.

Forex.

2010-07-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

I seriously failed at it.
I can't believe I actually had $3000 loss in less than 5 min.
Pathetic.
Well, at least I earned back $5000 over after I woke up.
Hahah.

Fishing at Bedok Jetty last night till morning.
But surprisingly, I'm not tired throughout the whole day.
Skipped dinner as I forced myself to sleep for that few hours.
Woke up and cooked pasta.
Quite a successful one compared to the last time I cooked.

Sometime, the worst that can ever happen is actually the step towards the best ever.

Birthday.

2010-07-16T22:29:00.000+08:00

Just shut the fuck up man.
I don't need anyone to tell me how I am to live my life.
Right, I might have made mistakes.
But who don't?
I can't wait for you to move out.
Or probably, I'd rather to be the one who move.

Let's just end it.

Fun.

2010-06-19T03:08:00.000+08:00

Happiness on their way! (:
Work for the past 2 days was fun.
First day with Sandy and the next with Dorothy.
And then, upcoming Genting trip(again) on Monday.
Which, we will be setting off on Sunday midnight.
Can't wait to enjoy the weather there instead of suffering in Singapore now.

I really wonder, why people can't be as friendly as those people I am working with now?
Beside backstabbing, gossiping about others, what else are those hypocrites capable of?
Did they learn to be like this since young?
From whom, their parents, teachers or any other elders?
Or did they simply learn from peers?
It seem like every phase of life, there bound to be at least one of them around.
Regardless of whether I'm in Primary school, Secondary, ITE or any work place.
What will they achieve from?
Maybe backstabbing will get promotion or something.
But it is such an underhand method!
And gossiping is simply stupid.
I just can't figure out why, the world is turning into something so dark...

Last.

2010-06-04T05:58:00.001+08:00

It's not easy to hang on to this point.
I did what I could.
But this, this is the limit.

I lost all the respect I had for you.

And you still don't give a fuck about it.

Chasing.

2010-06-03T02:46:00.003+08:00

Would you chase me if I run?
Would you hold on me if I jump?
Would you still be here when I wake up?

Went to school today with Dorothy.
Both of us decided to quit school.
Not a very wise choice, I know.
After talking to section head, I was kind of undecided yet again.
Honestly, I haven't settle on a definite answer.
However, most probably I will still quit school.

I wanna talk about this with you.
But you've been ignoring me the whole day.

What's So Great?

2010-05-28T07:07:00.002+08:00

I couldn't get to sleep only until I'm super duper tired.
Which is why I'm still awake now.
Even after brawling my eyes out the whole night.
I'm nowhere near tired nor sleepy.
And I'm still sobbing away...

Always.

2010-05-21T05:51:00.002+08:00

Cherish the one beside you.
And right now, for me, it's you.
The one who tolerate me for years.
Who give in to me at times.
Who bullied me more than anyone.
And yet, care for me like no one ever does.

I love you, boyfriend. (:

New Term, New Trouble.

2010-04-28T13:10:00.001+08:00

So, I've decided to continue school.
Like what they say, it's just one more year left.
Why waste time?
But, hell, this term is definitely full of ups.
And by ups, i mean being up awake.
Not early though but still.
I really hope my retaking modules doesn't have to be this term.

Sometimes, I really wish I don't have to bother about all this craps that's happening.
It kinda just make me feeling more miserable each time.

Everything.

2010-04-03T05:44:00.002+08:00

Got my result.
Which, basically, was crap.
Have been going through serious consideration about whether to quit school.
But well, decided not to.
Just get a lousy certificate and get out of that damn school.
At least I would have a slightly higher qualification than now by then.
And this is the only thing that motivate me to go on.
Argh. Crap.
School is starting in about a week time.
Dread having people asking around how's whoever result are, just see compare.
And having people boosting around and act like they aren't.
Hypocrites.

I just talked on the phone with Dorothy for like 3 hours straight.
We're crazy.
There is so much catching up to be done this coming Tuesday!
Steamboat! Steamboat! Steamboat!
Mahjong! Mahjong! Mahjong!
Hahahaa.

Boyfriend is down with fever.
Went down to accompany him for his dinner and his mom said,
"Wah, you still dare to come close to him ah?"
and she gave me a big smile.
LOL.

Recently just went to Boyfriend's class chalet.
And trust me, it was rubbish.
What is a chalet without BBQ?
And the best part, they spend more time outside of the chalet.
They rented cars and they just stayed out.
Bad planners.
Worse still, they don't even stay out late.
They went back to the chalet quite early, to sleep!
Ended up, Boyfriend, YanXiang, Ben, WeiLiang, Mun Hong, Yeming and me stay awake till morning while scaring ourselves with ghosts stories.

I miss having breakfast with the girls.
I miss A&W.

Turn Around.

2010-03-11T21:54:00.000+08:00

And take a look at me;
the tears that have left it's place,
the heart that have broken into pieces,
and all the wound that can't recover.

Bitch.

2010-02-25T00:19:00.001+08:00

Bear my ranting or simply skip it.
Seriously, this is the most you can go.
I did not even know what the fuck had happen between you and the other person.
I was just merely asking.
And, fuck you for showing me your damn attitude.
Know what, show me more and I'll irritate you even more.
Anyway, for your information, there is such a course call "Anger Management".
I will be glad if you would sign up for that.
Because you NEED it totally.
Or maybe I should say, we would greatly appreciate if you would take that initiative.
Hello bitch, find out who you are messing with before you do any stupid stuff.
Okay bitch, I shall stop degrading myself to your level. Enjoy your lowly world. (:

Steamboat with Dorothy and Yeming after school!
Love it.
Photos with Dorothy, upload after she send it to me. (:

Boyfriend told me this last night..
I read through your blog and I realise this,
last time you will say good things about me
but the more recent posts are always scolding me.
LOL!

Dear Boyfriend,
The main reason why the recent posts are scolding you is because you're being irritating lately!
Erm, okay...
You're being very sweet because you bring me to Universal Studio.
But you're being irritating by requesting me to wear so formal on such a hot day.
Worse still, with my killer heels.
Whatever it is, I still love you. (:

Please.

2010-02-23T05:20:00.002+08:00

Kill me and end all this shit.

Hello And Goodbye.

2010-02-09T23:47:00.000+08:00

Had a loveliest talk with Dorothy.
And I realize from the first day of school, I always been on very good terms with her.
I can talk to her about everything.
There are things that I can't talk with Yeming.
Or Sandy, or Grace, or Jiahui and needless to say any other classmates.
I'm glad everyone of you entered my life.
And does impacts to me.
I know I'm gonna regret in the future.
But who cares though?
Maybe the world will really end in 2012.
No one ever know.
So enjoy while you can.

I made a pact with Boyfriend.
He is not allow to bite, pinch, punch or hit me.
Not even for fun.
Because it does not just hurt me physically.
It hurts right from the bottom of my heart.

I'm so not looking forward to Chinese New Year.

Life.

2010-02-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

Great, I just packed my super duper messy table.
And it's super duper tidy now.
Happy!
Now I can start doing all my things in my room instead.
No more late night nagging.
But I guess I better sleep early.
More importantly for my health.
Yea, yea, I know.
I should have realise this so much earlier.
But then, who cares when there are so much fun at night?
Though, obviously, I'm not a clubber.
And the fact is, I never step into any club before.
But there are other things to do at night right?
I simply enjoy the time when I get to spend time with my friends.
Late at night, slacking, rounding and talking about everything.
It doesn't happen now.
Because those are his friends, not mine.
Anyway, those doesn't matter now.
Because right now, all I care is:
1) Boyfriend
2) The girls - yes, all of you, even if I don't show.

I've been rather paranoid lately.
Like totally out of nowhere.
There are so much unhappiness.
But who is there to listen?
And I mean listen...

dorothy(:

2010-02-02T16:34:00.000+08:00

snow is white
snow is fair
snow is cold
snow is beyond zero degree
and it turns to water after it melt!

HAHA SO LAME.
dedicated to my snow :)

yezi is leaf
yezi is monkey
yezi is green
yezi is brown
yezi will go gooogoooogagaaaaa with her hands scratching under her armpits
LIKE AH MENG!!!
meow :3

Apologise.

2010-02-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

Sorry Dorothy.
Sorry Sandy.

I couldn't go to the beach fiesta on Saturday.
Because I realise I really run out of time.
I need to catch up with a lot of things.
And there isn't enough time at all!

I'm sorry. )=

Rekindle.

2010-01-27T21:14:00.001+08:00

JiaHui just complained that I don't update my blog.
Well, basically I really don't know what to post.
There are so many things to be done.
I don't even have enough time for me to sleep.
Okay, I know my 'enough sleep' is so many hours more than average person.
But who cares?
I just want to have my beauty sleep!

Debarment list will be out soon.
And I'm confirm my name will be up there.
Hais.
What else can I do?
Anyway, please shut your trap.
Because I don't give a damn.
And even if I do change my behavior, it's totally none of your business.
You're simply getting on my nerve day by day.
But, whatever kay, I don't need any comment on that.

I need help in buying Chinese New Year clothes!
Shopping (with or without money) doesn't help at all.
Because nothing catch my eyes.
Totally have no idea what to wear.
It's so troublesome.
Maybe I should just wear shorts and Tshirt.
And get kill by Boyfriend when he see me.
Hahahahaa!

I'm Back.

2010-01-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

Hello!
I had a great weekend.
Steamboat and stay over at Sandy's was fun!
More of that to come, girls. (:

Boyfriend is in Bangkok now.
And he bought a lot of things for me!
Whereas he only buy like 3 items for himself.
Hahaha!

Back to school again tomorrow.
I really really dread waking up so early.
And worse, to face some irritating people.
So what if I only attend your damn lesson once a week?
Who cares anyway.
Argh.
There are even more problem than it is.
Hais.

Neither Here, Nor There.

2010-01-11T03:31:00.000+08:00

As confusing as my title is, that's how I'm feeling.

I've done loads of things that I didn't wanna do.
I need to learn to control myself more.
I need more determination.
Not from anyone but from myself.

And I don't need your constant nagging.
Enough is enough.
I didn't speak up doesn't mean you can continue doing so.
I just don't want any more conflict than we are having now.
Sometimes just shut your mouth up and no one will say you're a mute (direct translation).
Whatever it is, I just want my life back.
I mean, my own life.
The way I live it.
And not those that I have to abide to every single one.
It's tough trying to please the people around you.
Because, one thing for sure, I/we are not able to please everyone at the same time.

Enough of my nagging.
I need some beauty sleep right now.

Who Are You?

2010-01-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

Who do you think you are to interfere with my life?
Just fuck off okay.
Don't use money to threaten me.
I don't give a fuck about it.
Deduct my money and I will see you in court.
Asshole.
And my Boyfriend got nothing to do with you.
Who are you to care about whether he is staying here or going back home.
Just mind your own fucking business.

Class Chalet.

2009-12-29T14:31:00.000+08:00

Morning people.
Surprising to see me this here at this timing.
I am supposed to be asleep.
But due to the though of starting school soon.
I am trying to keep myself awake after reaching home from chalet.
I better tune back my body clock.
In case it goes haywire again, I shall promise myself to attend school on time more.
(:

Anyway, chalet was fun!
Too bad for people who DID NOT attend or don't even intend to.
(Excluding those that really can't come.)
I seriously don't understand why.
I mean, here people trying to make effort to bond the class.
Yet there are people don't even bother or appreciate it at all.
I admit I am not the type that really care about this class.
But at least show your face at the chalet for an hour or so will make other feel happy.
So why not?
To you it might be some kind of small matter.
But to others, they take it seriously.
What the hell is happening to the people in this class?!

So, back to the fun, though I went there quite late.
But there were still food left for me and Yeming. (:
And still have more for Charles and Boyfriend.
I think there are still some leftover chicken wings, hot dogs and fish balls.
Definitely getting fatter so much after one night.
Cause they think the margarine is free.
LOL!
The oil is like dripping when holding up the chicken wing.
Prawn is nice and we shared it with those stray cats.
They are so cute!!
Sadly, Dorothy have to leave.
If not there gonna be more fun.
Only went to bed at 5am.
Kinda feel bad leaving Alvin alone.
But I was too tired after bathing.
Woke up by them/Boyfriend at 1030am.
Rushed back home cause Boyfriend have to go work.
And again, I feel bad for leaving the mess to them.

Update again with photos when received.

Post Christmas.

2009-12-27T23:26:00.001+08:00

I know, I've been leaving this blog quite a lot.
But there's simply nothing much to post.
So I slowly accumulate those events and add everything together!
Clever right? =D

First up, Peranakan Museum trip!
I got no photos with me.
But just wanna say that it was an enjoyable trip with the girls!
More outings to come for us.

Christmas eve with Secondary mates at Mengguan's.
Steamboat!
And it really feel like Chinese New Year instead of Christmas (from Agnes).
Then down to Plaza Singapura find Boyfriend and Yanxiang.
Afterward to some pub with Boyfriend's cousin.
Home at 5am.

Christmas spent half the day sleeping.
Another half doing the typical things.
Eating and such.
Then back home.
Boring!
Anyway, thanks Grace for the cookies, it's very nice! I want some more. Hahhas.
And Jiahui for the card. So sweet of you to choose the snowman for me.
Thanks people who made my day. (:

Satuday, went skating/cycling with half the girls.
Sandy, Dorothy and Yeming.
But it start raining when we are about to leave.
End up, going back to Sandy's house in the rain with Dorothy.
While the other 2 went off to take bus.
Spent my time at her house cleaning my skates.
Which was such a chore.
Worse, it's still a lousy skates.
Can't wait to buy a brand new pair.
Went Downtown East for dinner at JustAcia.
And we saw Jiahui!
So coincidence.

Class chalet tomorrow.
Why I don't feel like it is so?
Hais.

Finally Again.

2009-12-15T02:03:00.000+08:00

Finally went skating again!
Though Yezi is still catching up,
but there's improvement!
Not bad, not bad.
Charles sent me home!
Thanks, thanks.

Basically, today I just tried to worn myself out.
But it wasn't achieved.
Whatever.

Hoilday.

2009-12-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

Yay.
It's finally here.
Break for 3 weeks!
And it's not long enough for me!
Plus, how am I going to find a job for such a short period.
I don't know whether I should be happy or sad about it.
This holiday is gonna be a very packed one.
Good or bad?

Basically, I've been rotting at home for the past few days.
Project halfway done.
Worst is, I don't really know exactly what I should do.
I mean, I don't know the details I found is it related or such.
Hopefully I'm not heading the wrong path.

Why can't we have like 30 hours a day?

Enough.

2009-12-09T15:48:00.000+08:00

That's it, Xueqi.
You're being such an ass.

Getaway.

2009-12-07T16:59:00.000+08:00

Just when I was getting used to thing here.
You're telling me that you're leaving.
I need time to reform myself all over again.
Somehow, deep inside me, I wish both that you could stay and leave.

Informations from everywhere are popping out.
And in super random order.
Without warning, I have to handle yet another situation I never wanna be in.

Is this disappointment or expectation?

Time.

2009-12-05T13:53:00.000+08:00

I always wonder what's the problem.
And like always, I never get my answer.
I can't find any solution.
I just seem to keep going back the same way I did.
And it's a bad habit.
It does not only caused unhappiness within me.
It also create unnecessary arguments.

CAs are over!
One burden down.
I need to get a job badly.
Have to stop being so choosy.
It's never a good thing.

I need some time.
I need to think it over.
I need to do serious consideration.
I have so many needs.

I'm not happy at all.

Who Cares?

2009-11-17T19:03:00.000+08:00

It's none of your business.
Don't act like you really care.
Shedding your damn crocodile tears.
Fuck off.

Fine.

2009-11-14T14:30:00.000+08:00

I finally had my haircut.
Which turned out not what I expected.
But it's not that bad though.
Just that I have to style it.
If not I will look so ugly.
LOL!

School's crap.
Can't believe I'm attending them.
It's such a chore.

Genting trip planned!
We're driving there!
Yay~
Main driver - Boyfriend.
Sub driver - Charles.
Free loaders - Yezi and me.
WAHAHAHHAA!

I still know how to enjoy without you!

Anyway, maybe WeiLiang and his friends joining us also.
But in another car.
Problem is, they can't find any car.
And they are short of cash.
Tsk tsk.

Count down, 2 weeks!

I so feel like skating right now.
In fact, an overnight one.
But it's just seem so impossible already.

I am drifting off.
I no longer wanna hold on.
It's just so not fair for both of us.
Especially you.
I don't know why all this is happening.
It shouldn't be like this.
I just can't bear to let go..

You're Simply Not Fit To Be One.

2009-11-11T02:40:00.001+08:00

Fuck the damn teacher.
I know what I'm going to post here will not be pleasant to some.
But still, I don't care what you may think.
I don't give a damn.
This is MY blog. (:

I don't see why I should take the initiative to bloody well wake up so early.
Though I did.
Which caused me to be so pissed.
For the fact of it, I already dislike, or rather, loathes that damn teacher.
Additionally, today incident simply just increase it more.
I know you may say he have his stupid reason.
So be it.
I'm not angry because he asked me not to go.
I'm irritated because he asked me not to go yet asked Yeming to go.
Whereas she was still far away.
Fine, she was in train and I've not even board the cab.
But just because of that phone call, I missed 3 available cabs.
And just how long do I take to reach?
Less than the fucking 10 minutes.

Worse still, I'll be marked as absent for the damn whole day.
So much for waking up so early.
Fuck it.

Don't give me any rubbish about this fucking matter.
I don't give a damn anymore.
He don't know how to respect me.
I don't see why I should respect him.

Which fucking teacher will say, "Oh! You're here today!"
when you attend his boring lesson once in a while.
For your information, I went not for your boring lesson.
But for the sake of my precious attendance.
Stop being so irritating before I show you what you're doing.

Damn, spoiler.

Unreachable.

2009-11-06T17:02:00.000+08:00

You'll never know how messed up I'm on the inside.

Skate yesterday with Yezi.
QQ joined us.
And it rained halfway through.
Shelter at KFC.
Zac skated in the rain just to come over to find us.
Had his dinner there also.
Then went back to shop.
Cause Yezi leaving for her band practice.

Went Lagoon with Zac.
Had satay, which I was kinda craving for it.
Back to shop, closed shop and left.
Meet Yezi at the bus stop.
And I have my dinner, Zac with his second dinner.
Yezi waited for Charles to arrive.

Had to go off earlier.
I had a good time skating.
Though I'm not in a very good mood.
In fact, one of my worst.
Still, thanks for trying to cheer me up. (:

I think I need a break off this.
I shall focus back on my studies.
And studies only.
I'll miss you.

Too Complicated.

2009-11-01T21:48:00.000+08:00

It went out of hand.
Went out of control.
Out of my control.
I no longer know what I'm thinking.
I don't wanna make a choice.
I don't wanna make any choice.
It's not easy.
Though it's not that hard.
Either I keep one.
Or I lose both.

I know this is all wrong.
All messed up.
I can't help it!
You're pushing me further and further into the hole.
I can't climb out anymore.
Why is all this happening all over again!?

You're standing right out there.
Waiting for me to open the door for you.
I know how much you yearn to enter.
But I can't.
I can't allow that to happen.
No, not again...

Thanks.

2009-10-30T03:36:00.001+08:00

Thanks for creating such happiness.
And destroying it in your own bloody hand.
Why do I feel so cheated?

Perhaps I was wrong.
Perhaps everything was wrong to start with.
I misunderstood, instead of them.
I prejudged.
I was too paranoid.
But I can't help it, can I?
Given anyone in that situation.
No one feel nice about it.
It's not the way to deal with people like me.
That is definitely the very wrong way.

So many things had changed.
I suddenly find myself down with guilts.

Misunderstood.

2009-10-29T12:34:00.000+08:00

Somehow I'm not getting the understanding from people I need most.
Instead they are giving me cold shoulders.
It's not easy.
I'm sick of trying.
Perhaps I shouldn't try so hard at all.
Or I shouldn't even care anymore.

Overnight.

2009-10-25T16:09:00.001+08:00

I'm a happy girl now!
Hahahah!
I had manicure done with Yezi on Friday.
And then finally my midnight skating again!
It was an overnight event.
So nice! So lovely!
However, Yezi fell even though she wasn't moving her legs.
I think she was too tired, her legs gave way.
She was so worried that her painted nails will get scratch when she fall.
LOL!
We skated from ECP all the way to Changi Village.
And the guys had their supper/breakfast there.
Missed the sunrise.
But doubt we could see anything nice due to the cloudy weather.
Had my breakfast at McDonald.
But gastric start to act up and I couldn't finish my meal.
Threw everything that was left into Zac's mouth.
Hahah!

Saw something I didn't wanna know.
Heard things that was so ridiculous yet funny at the same time.
Hard to elaborate.
But there will be so much gossip going on during my outing with Serene lessy!
Can't wait for it!

Boyfriend bring me down to Hougang Mall last night.
And bought me Zen X-fi2.
It was quite a not bad player.
If it don't keep restarting/hanging/fail to turn on.
He decided to go down again to change it.
However, he wants to change it to Itouch.
Which, to my displease, I don't like Apple products.
Cause of the software used.
It's just so tedious.

Mummy bought Samsung Jet.
And she's giving me her Samsung F480.
Thus, I don't need to buy a new phone for myself!
See, I told you I'm a happy girl.
=D

Skates.

2009-10-21T03:10:00.000+08:00

I love skating! =D

Didn't went school today.
Couldn't wake up.
Yeming came over after school.
Changed and we went out!
Kallang for lunch at some Japanese restaurant.
Then Katong for pool and singing session.
And finally, 7pm, ECP!
Wondering why 7pm?
Cause someone's Charles could only be free at that time.
LOL!
Skating~ Skating~
All the way till 10pm.
I still prefer skating at midnight.
Much more cooler.
I can't wait to go skate again.
When is our next appointment?!
*Scandal, scandal.*

It's so obvious that everyone is asking about it.
I finding the feeling I've lost from someone else.
What is happening?

Unmoved.

2009-10-20T01:45:00.001+08:00

If comparing which hurts more.
Nothing hurts more than my heart do.

The bite I've done on you cut in deeper on my heart than your skin.
But the bites you did on me simply makes you happier.

What's the point?
It will just be never ending.
Why can't you understanding?
Why you don't even care after all that I've said?
I'm done here, and that's it.

Abused.

2009-10-18T05:23:00.000+08:00

Bite marks, scars formed, bruises appeared and hurt inflicted.
Perhaps, seeing me in pain would make you happier.

I had never felt this humiliated before.

Unsure.

2009-10-16T02:14:00.000+08:00

I've not been sleeping much lately.
In fact, the whole of this week.
Thus, I'm sick now.

Things and mood goes up and down.
Until some points where I really don't wanna care anymore.
Somehow I really just wanna skate my unhappiness away since that day.
Right beside the beach, without a single soul in sight and feeling the wind passing by.
Nothing will stay in your mind at that exact moment.
I miss skating.

I couldn't help feeling so pissed when you're not listening to my explaination.
And my explaination is logical, therefore I really don't see any reason why I deserve that.
I wanna do something meaningful, for the sake of myself and my future.
That's what you taught me.
And then tell me, what am I suppose to do now when things got so messed up?
Just because of one simple issue, something that isn't as important as my studies.

There are loads of things going throught my mind right now.
I don't know what am I doing anymore.
It's not easy to make a choice in this situation.
My will is giving up..

Dear.

2009-10-13T04:09:00.000+08:00

No matter how many times I said.
No matter what or how I said.
Everything just come down to one end.
I just wanna love you without anything else.

You might not understand this.
You might not understand my heart.
But please don't doubt me.
Don't take me for granted.
Because, because I really can't take it anymore.
I love you.

Fuck Off.

2009-10-08T04:36:00.000+08:00

I somehow could understand how you're feeling right now.
Because that was exactly how I felt weeks ago.
Revenge, maybe, possible.
But whatever it is, I hope you could trust me.
Cause I did and still do.

You don't like people to do things like this on you.
First, don't do it on others.
Likewise, same goes for your choice of words use.
Who made a big deal when I carelessly scold "fuck off" long ago?
Now who's asking me to fuck off?
I'm not losing my cool, not yet.
I just feel so disappointed.
I asked you to talk.
Not to speak only but to say out how you feel.
You simply just kept quiet.
I'm not a mind reader.
I won't know a single thing if you're not telling me.
It's very tiring to keep guessing and not getting an answer.
And I don't even know whether I guessed it right or wrong.
It's not easy at all.
I'm tired already.
I don't wanna guess anymore.
I don't wanna play this mind game with you.

Speed.

2009-10-04T18:56:00.000+08:00

Had a fall.
Thus explain the big bruise at my thigh.
It hurts even when I lied on my left when sleeping.
It will be so ugly!

Went to lots of places last night.
Tiong Bahru, meet Boyfriend and others.
Tampines, fill petrol, on the way jammed due to accident.
E!Hub, for bowling.
Changi Village, for supper - Nasi Lemak! =D
Loyang Temple (I don't really know what's that call), pray.
Mount Faber, slack and stunts.
Kallang, "donuts".

On the way to Kallang almost kill me.
They were driving like nobody's business.
Changing lanes like there isn't any other cars around.
Speeding at the top spend.
I was in the wrong car with the right driver.
At Kallang, was an eye-opening for me.
I never knew they could do those stunts so well.
I think I had belittled them. =x
Back home only at 5AM.
By then I was already very tired.
Been a long time since I get tired outside at such timing.

Somehow, I kinda realise the changes in me.
Personality, I mean.
Not much, not obviously but definitely there is.
I don't know whether it's a good change or not.
But then, I don't know how will other react.
Or maybe they have noticed but didn't tell me anything.
Pardon me for any mistakes I might/might have make.

Morning.

2009-10-03T04:18:00.000+08:00

Today could be one of the happiest day I had within this few weeks.
And I don't really know why.
Perhaps I've really learn to let go.
Or perhaps, I've really fill in the truth.
Then again, I'm not fully convinced yet.
Maybe is your existance.

Attention to Low Jia Hui.
Your breakfast partner is still fully awake!
=P

Game.

2009-10-02T03:13:00.000+08:00

I'm really considering.

So am I like suppose to be jealous.
Then make him jealous.
And then again he make me jealous.
So on and so for?
That's utterly rubbish.

I'm still upset over my result.
However, I'm glad that I finally get to have my breakfast.
Like really after so long of yearning for it.

Basically, today I was just mopping about.
Dragging myself from one to point to another.
Downloaded a lot of shows.
But just don't have the mood to watch.

I need a job badly.
One that could be convenient to me.
With an acceptable amount of pay.
I think that could be good enough.
Who wanna hire me to be personal assistant?
Transportation, food and beverage must be covered.
HAHAHA!

Result.

2009-10-01T09:08:00.000+08:00

Damn!
My expectations wasn't reached.
My GPA is just slightly better than what I get for my Nitec.
Even though I worked twice as hard as I were.
What kind of result is this. Roar!

Breakfast with Jiahui.
Back later.
Damn it!

All over, again.

2009-09-28T07:10:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's just the issue of trust.

Time to restart.

Tears.

2009-09-26T04:39:00.000+08:00

I'm not crying.
I'm not upset.
I'm just self-pitying.

Because I don't know what is going on right now.
Because I don't know when I'd step on his tail.
Because I don't know what I did is right and what's wrong.
Because I don't know how it feels to love and be loved anymore.

I want back the guy that will hug me silently when I cry.
The guy that make a fool out of himself when I'm down.
The guy that does tiny little surprises here and there.
The guy that goes all the way just for me.
The guy that told me to buy his insurance with my heart.
Where have he been?

Packed.

2009-09-25T07:02:00.000+08:00

I don't mind my room being so messed up.
However, I do mind your heart and/or mind is being in a mess.
Because I can pack my room as and when I want.
But I can't cure anything else.
Alright, I just did something incredible, unbelievable and totally unlike me.

I've been sleeping at super weird timing.
And waking up at like, evening?!
When I tried to go to bed early, ends up rolling left and right.
I need a change of time.

Things have not been going well everywhere.
Somehow, to a point that I really, and I mean really, feel like giving up.
I don't know what else I could do anymore.
Edison was right.
If I gave in everything I have, I'll be left with nothing if he leave.
I used to tell myself, if I love him, I won't mind giving in everything.
But up to the point now, I'm so afraid of giving anything anymore.
I'm afraid I'll be left with nothing.
I'm afraid I won't be able to cope.
I'm afraid one day, one fine day, everything will be back to square one, or even worse.
I'm so afraid of everything.
The fear is so strong.
That's pushing me more and more.
I just wish I could crawl to one corner and hide.
Hide away all the fears.
Hide away all the tears.
Hide away the unhappiness.
Hide away the sadness.

My heart doesn't allow delete to be possible.
My mind doesn't forget things that happened.
I can't just tell myself,
Sometimes thinking too much just make things worse.
And I will stop.
My brain don't work this way.
Neither is any part of me working like this.

I got so much to tell you.
So much of things to pour.
But you're not listening.
You don't have to time to do so.
Having buried everything to myself for so long.
I no longer know how to open up.
Though I used to do so to you.
But I find it so hard.
So impossible for me to do that now.
I don't wanna be your burden.
I'm sorry.

Trust is a term that never should exist.
Love is nothing without hatred.

Never Return Trust.

2009-09-24T03:30:00.003+08:00

I'm fine, totally fine.
Just for your information.
Or perhaps more than just fine.
Whichever you think it fit.

I don't wanna repeat myself over and over again.
I don't wanna make myself so upset over this rubbish issuse.
But, damn it, can't you just stop all this nonsense and behave yourself?!
Thanks a lot man.
I've got nothing more to say about you.
About this.
About us.

I am learning to close one eye.
And I'm not giving a damn even if you say you can't feel a single shit from me anymore.
Because you don't even give a fucking damn about my fucking feeling.
So why should I bother?
Why should I get myself so upset?
Why should I cry myself to sleep?
Why should I do all those things that seem incredibly ridiculous to you?
Tell me, why should I care?!

It's damn fucking unfair, to me.
I don't even know what the fuck you're doing anymore.

My room is in a mess.
And I don't like this feeling at all.
I predict my life won't be any better after today.
Instead, the worst might have arrived.

I'm still boiling.

Impossible.

2009-09-21T19:38:00.002+08:00

I have got so much to ask.
Yet I have nothing to say.

I cried till there was no tear anymore.
My heart hurt till it doesn't feel anything anymore.
I don't know who I could trust.
I don't know what I can believe.
This is a world of liars.
A world of cruelity.
And I don't wanna belong here.
Not any longer.

Done.

2009-09-20T00:06:00.002+08:00

I no longer know what you said is truth or false.
I no longer dare to believe in anything, anymore.
I gave myself a chance - one more, one last.
[Dated - 19/09/09]
[Time - 12:06AM]

The past 4 days were the worst and the best of my recent few months.
And I never wanna recall what the hell had happened.
Please just don't ask me anymore thing.
By that, you're being very kind to me.

Boyfriend stayed over for 4 days.
Today is the 4th and he's working right now.
We trashed things out, very, very clearly.
And I'm so glad I gave a chance.
I'm not going to give up ever again.
After all that I've said and heard.
I know where I belong and where I'm heading to.

That guy started DotA again.
Thus, most nights I've been left aside.
However, I think I might not get use to him not being around every night.
Oh, and cursing at his laptop screen when he died.
LOL!

Please remember.
Your girlfriend always love you. (:

Intruder.

2009-09-18T04:51:00.002+08:00

I told myself to be gracious.
To be more giving.
But I can't do it.
The thought of her;
thought of it, makes my blood boil.
I can't forgive.
Neither can I take it as it's something small.
I couldn't say I don't mind.
In fact, I mind.
And I mind it a lot.
It's interupting my life.
Intruding my personal space.
I hate this.
I hate her.
And I hate you for causing all this shit to happen.

Up and Set.

2009-09-17T05:28:00.000+08:00

What can I say?
I'm so disappointed.
I'm speechless.
I can't contain my disappointment, my anger, my sadness and worst of all, my distrust-ness.
If there is ever such a word.
I can't exactly show it either.
It's driving me crazy.

I AM NOT BEING UNREASONABLE.
I've got every reason to be upset.

Overlooked.

2009-09-15T02:02:00.002+08:00

I actually missed it.
The 17th and 18th.
Oh my!
I guessed if I don't bother.
No one else does.
And so why should I?!
And it's no big deal either.
And maybe I don't really care.
And maybe I'm just trying to find excuses.
WHATEVER.

I wonder what could happen if,
I given up,
I choosen another,
I don't bother.
Maybe one fine day things will turn out better.
Or maybe I should think back and see what have I done wrong.
Whereas, I've done that for a million times.
Perhaps, it's my choice that was wrong.
And yes, I overlooked every flaws.
It's not that hard to change.
But it's almost impossible to change into someone you dislike.
That will never happen to me.
I've learnt.
Thanks to you.

Loser, You.

2009-09-12T02:20:00.002+08:00

That's quite a lowly trick that I nearly fell for.
And to think that you could actually get back at me after that?
Dream on!
In fact, wait long long!
Perhaps, wait till you're dead that day also won't come.
You're nothing but just my toy.
I'm damn evil.
HAHAHAH.

I finally met Boyfriend after so many days of war.
Hmm, not that many days actually.
But it seems like quite long to me already.
Treatment wasn't exactly the best.
But still, better than nothing.
There were points where I really wanna give up.
There were times where I couldn't hold on anymore.
All I did was to shut myself up.
And hoping everything will be fine by the end of the day.
It does turn out not that bad though.
Maybe it's time for me to come out and face everything.
Solve it for once and for all.

Anyway, thanks the girls who know who they are.
For accompanying me unknowingly. (:

Never Easy.

2009-09-11T05:34:00.002+08:00

Dorothy and YeMing helped me cleaned my hammies's cage.
And now they smell nice nice instead of stinko. =D

Played L4D with them and inclusive of JiaWei.
But he went off earlier to meet his girlfriend.
Dinner at Tampines.
Then the girls came over my house and stayed.
Currently, Dorothy is sleeping.
Yeming is playing with my PSP.
Because I chased her off the computer for me to blog.
*Evil grin*

Partly my fault, partly yours.
I never once said I'm wrong.
Neither did I said it's you.
But why does it seems like I have to coax you like a baby?
Why does it seems like I'm the one that causes all this?
I just feel so unfair.
It wasn't meant to be like this.
Never.

The temptation is so great.
So great so that I'm giving in anytime.
Totally the opposite of what I'm having now.
Almost exactly what I'm looking forward to.
I really don't know how to handle this situation.
Not anymore.

My mind's exploding.
My heart's bleeding.
I have had enough.

Love Me.

2009-09-10T01:05:00.002+08:00

Exams are over!
Is that a sense of relief?
Anyway, thanks cousin so so so much for printing my whole OFA documents.
Which is like 100 over pages.
And made him went to buy ink for it.
Heheh!

Celebrated Grace's birthday in school today.
And why are we in school even though exams finished?
Cause of the damn SW make up lesson.
And worse, I still owe her 8hours.
Which is ridiculous.
And I'm not giving a damn about it.
Term ended, attendance over! =D

We surprised Grace!
Sadly YeMing had to leave early.
Can't wait for Grace and celebrate together.
After that slack everywhere.
Then facial with Dorothy!
And she's staying over tonight. (:

Am I wrong?
Was I wrong?
Is it my fault?
Am I being unreasonable?
I'm not asking myself.
I'm hinting you to ask yourself.
I know what I've done and said.
Don't assume again and again.
Don't presume every single thing.
You never know how much I wish for changes.

I belong to myself.

Fill-It-In-Yourself.

2009-09-03T00:54:00.003+08:00

Counting down 24 days.
And right now you're telling me, let's not meet.
I'm totally fine with it.
But there are doubts here and there.
And curiousity everywhere.
It's killing me inside slowly.
Ask me what's trust.
I shall answer with nothing but a smile.
For it means nothing more than a word itself.
Who care what's trust all about?
Simple as a word.
Complicated than every single object on earth.

Tell me how am I suppose to live a life like this?
Sooner or later, you'll see me breaking down more than ever.
No need for all this shit.
Just leave me alone, for now.
For as long as you want.
For as long as I like.
I need time.
I need space.
I need cash.
I don't need you right now, seriously.

Faraway.

2009-09-01T21:20:00.002+08:00

Roleplay srcipt was crap.
Totally.
So much thing thing to rush.
My excels, words, BZE and PAC.
I need more time.
In fact, I need more money also.

I think I've already start missing Boyfriend.
I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing.
Bad cause I will surely miss.
And who knows whether it's true for, "Absence makes the heart fonder."
Good because I will have more time for myself and friends!
Been quarrelling over accompany time and such.
So, we shall see! =P

Attitude.

2009-08-27T14:38:00.002+08:00

That's so not interesting.
You like it when I attitude you?
This is screwing me up mentally.
I really really don't have the time and energy to entertain you anymore.

Exams are here!
Hopefully I've done well for the papers taken.
Quite confident with the pass papers.
Heheh!

I need space..
A lot a lot of it right now.

Awaiting.

2009-08-18T03:21:00.001+08:00

It's not about her; it's about you.
It's not anger; it's disappointment.
Hard to say, hard to show.
Though impossible to hide it away.

Terrible sore throat.
Doctor gave 2 days MC and exempted from physical education till end of month.
So, it means that I won't have to attend SW from now till my holiday!
Presentation delayed again.
But teacher decided that we present on Wednesday.
Don't really know the details also.
Sandy told me those I stated.

Stayed over at Dorothy's on Friday night.
Damn sad and fun.
Contradicting, I know.
There were indeed tears and laughters.
So how am I suppose to express all in words?

After so many days of conflicts, things actually did change for the better.
Hopefully it does last longer than ever.
Not the best ever, still could have been even worse though.
Tell me how you feel, honestly.
Because I'm being even more honest than ever.
Never had I been so straightforward with anyone.
Please make it work.
Please do give me your best.
For I'm giving mine.

They say, hide away the truth that hurts.
I rather knowing the truth than to be hidden.
Even if it means killing me totally, I'd still wanna know the truth.

Don't let me go..

Wanted.

2009-08-12T03:34:00.000+08:00

I really don't like this few days.
In fact, I think it's weeks already.
Nothing good seem to be going on.
Everything is gettting irritating by second, no, nanosecond.

And seriously, just when I thought I'm able to enjoy my one extra day of "weekend",
so many stupid things popped up.
Planned to rush through my homeworks before going out.
But someone agreed to help me in it.
So I decided to bring my homeworks - undone and untouched, along.
But some selfish people just don't understand other's urgency.
And only care for herself and don't do what she said.
Still dared to attitude me infront of everyone.
Who's supposed to be the one pissed?
Who's the one that goes back on her damn words?
So, that got me planned rushing so damn much of my homeworks after that.
Just because of one selfish inhuman human.

And then because of another stupid moron,
I don't even have the time to rush my homeworks after that.
Don't understand Singaporean at all!
How can they be really so selfish, arrogant, proud and honestly, stupid?
Is it so hard to change the fucking lane and avoid cyclist(s)?
Horns are not meant to be use by pushing it down and hold it there all the way.
UNLESS, you're really going to bang that person/vehicle.
But who the fuck in their right mind will horn a cyclist with the distance of 5 cars length inbetween?!
I can't believe that a father, 34, could actually be so childish to throw an air freshener out of his car.
Worst of all, even started a fight with a teenager.
How immature.
I really pity the daughter.
To witness such idiotic act done by her father.
So irresponsible of him.
What kind of role model she have for a father?
What kind of lady will she grow up to be?

I just feel that it's damn unfair.
Because of those kind of people in Singapore, outsiders see us just as what I stated.
And because of those people, I kinda feel ashamed as a Singaporean.
Hopefully, I don't portray that kind of image to other.
I know it's bad having this kind of thinking but I can't help it.
What is this world becoming to?
Full of selfish people.

I only want you to know what's going in my mind.
Stop guessing and start asking.
Kindly please.

Busy.

2009-08-03T20:38:00.002+08:00

I don't have the time to blog!
Roarrrrr~!
So much things happening.
Too little time for me.

I skipped school today.
Cause I really can't wake up for it.

Chalet last weekend.
Super tiring!
Didn't sleep much for both nights.

Packed month.
There's still steamboat next week.
Tsk tsk.

My mind is not thinking well.
Can see from how I blog also.
So many paragraphs.
Zzz.
Whatever!

Happy birthday my dear Boyfriend!

Birthday.

2009-07-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

1 birthday, 3 days of celebration. (=

Thursday, the 5 girls tricked me!
They 4 of them saying wanna find teachers.
So only YeMing went back with me.
Then the others went to buy Bueberry Cheesecake!
With the "un-blow-able" candle on it.
They appeared at my doorstep.
Surprising lah!
And I managed to blow away the flame.
Anyway, the cheesecake is damn yummy!
They had a card and present also.
Almost the whole class signed on the card with greetings.
So sweet of them!
Thanks Dorothy, Grace, JiaHui, Sandy, YeMing and the class!

After school, meet up with secondary school mates.
Initially, I thought was just a dinner at NewYork NewYork.
Because it was planned quite long ago.
End up, it was an early celebration for me, Jacqueline and Peifen.
Both their birthday falls on 22nd.
And they had 19 "un-blow-able" candles on the cakes.
It actually makes the cake look like it's on fire.
LOL!
Present and card again.
That was my second celebration.
Anyway, the Deep Fried Mars Bar is damn nice!
And they decided to treat me that while I ordered it.
Thanks BeeYee, EeWee, Jacqueline, Rachel, PeiLei and PeiFen. (=

Friday, the actually day itself was actually quite boring.
I skipped first lesson and went school for an hour.
Supposingly can go back home.
But have to settle some problem with our project.
Stayed till around 2PM.
Boyfriend fetch me back home and he went back to school.
Bathed and waited for Boyfriend to come over.
Then head down to PlazaSingapura.
Had dinner at The Manhattan Fish Market.
Seriously, the food there is super nice.
I think I prefer this to Fish & Co now.
Heheh!
Then we went to walk around and slack because our show is on at 0030.
Whereas we already finish our dinner by 8PM.
Then we went to the arcade.
Then tried luck at the Prize Catcher machine.
And very luckily, we spent $40 for 5 soft toys!
And a hell loads of Mentos.
Movie for the night was Ice Age 3.
So cute luh!
Though the 3D effect makes me have headache.
But still, the show is nice.

Saturday, brunch with mummy at North Point's Sakae Sushi.
Bought Kiki to grooming first before heading over.
Went to eat until super full!
Damn craving for sushi for a long time already.
Mummy gave me her cellhpone cause mine spoilt on Thursday.
I actually dropped on the floor and boom!
My screen goes black.
Anyway, I bought loads of snacks or literally, mummy bought.
Some old old candies - those that I used to eat when I was young and it's like damn hard to find now.
And Bakerzinn macaroons!
Super duper sweet! I like! Nice nice!

I noticed, I didn't take any photos throughout this 3 days!
Only at NewYork NewYork.
And the photos aren't with me.
No one send or even tag me at facebook yet.
So, too bad!
No photo for everyone.
But as I'm kind enough, I took a picture of my Blueberry Cheesecake to share with you.
Especially for JiaHui, cause she was eyeing on my thick layer of blueberry on top of the cheesecake. LOL!

Pardon me for the lousy quality of the picture.

Anyway, I shall upload the presents and cards when I have the time.
Or if I don't forget about it.
Hahaha!

Record.

2009-07-16T02:31:00.002+08:00

Alright!
I think I have to state down when I attend school and when I didn't.
Because, TanKL came up to me few days ago and said,
"Xueqi, how come your attendance suddenly dropped so much?
How come the last week before school holiday you never come school except for Wednesday?"
Like, WTF?
So long ago and you expect me to remember?
And from my very good memory, I recalled that I did went to school more than just a day.
Whatever, I don't have anything to support my words also.
So, here I am stating...
I've been to school everyday since school reopen.
Except for 2 days MC on Thursday and Friday.
And also skipping SW on Wednesday.
Heheh.

Recording for CMB done!
But I can't edit out the extra part.
Terrible, terrible.
And the best is, I haven't do my research.
Plus I don't even know what and how to do.
Whichever, it's not a good thing.
I think the best thing to do now is, go to bed and sleep!
Whahaha! =D

16th.

2009-07-13T06:21:00.003+08:00

I know it's kinda over.
But my day ain't.
And I know it's like 6 AM right now.
Whatever!
Like I am getting any sleep later.
=.=

Stupid case study.
Seriously!
I don't get what's the link between Business Environment and finding a dumb article to do for case study.
Or rather, I don't understand why we must do case study.
Whereas, we have to find that bloody case ourselves!
Well, I guess I just have to spend my time from now to 7.30 AM, which is when I will leave house for school, to do that stupid thing.
To think that I still plan to meet Boyfriend after school.
Seem like I'm only able to meet him in dreamland.
Wonder if he even wanna meet me though.

Not a very nice 16th.
I don't know what and why things are going on his mind.
Maybe I really did something wrong.
Maybe it's all my fault?
Somehow I never seem to know.
I no longer wanna guess what going on up there.
Because I knew long ago that no matter how hard I try, it's pointless.
Nothing ever works.
Or maybe it's just me.
I never once questioned myself this much when it comes to relationship.
Because to me, if it's there, it will be there.
If isn't meant to be mine, I won't wanna hold on to it.
But it's a total different case now.
Is that what you want?
I chose to leave you alone because I just don't want things to get worse.

New.

2009-07-11T14:13:00.002+08:00

Hmm, I really wonder why I'd end up with 2 days MC.
And a whole week of exempted from physical education.
Heheh!
That doctor really like to have me exempted from physical training.
Anyway, the doctor said that I was having slight fever.
Whereas, I was feeling entirely fine and well.
I only went to see doctor cause I couldn't wake up on Thursday.
Thus missing loads of lessons.
So basically, I just rotted at home the past 2 days.
Actually, it was quite a nice timing to have MC.
Cause I have not even start doing my case study yet.
Which I suppose, this case study gonna turn out as crappy as the previous one.
And I also suppose that teacher gonna be so unreasonable when I hand in late.
I think I can prepare to photocopy a whole stack of my MC and smack it in his face.
=P

Mummy agreed to apply the MaxMobile Surflite for me!
And I have already got it.
Heheh.
Went down to Boyfriend's work place and applied.
But Boyfriend treated me damn coldly.
Cause he said I attituded him in the morning.
I was sleeping and I don't even know what happened then.
=.=

Screw You.

2009-07-07T02:52:00.002+08:00

Firstly, I don't care if he's going to read this blog like he claim to have.
Secondly, I am 100% sure that I wasn't at fault.
Thirdly, who the fuck he think he is?

I'm too lazy to repeat the whole story over again.
But that doesn't means I'm over it.
In fact, I'm still super pissed about it.
I'm not letting this off so easily.
Just sit back and watch the good show.

You're not the only one with temper, attitude and everything else.
If you think you have to right to do all those things just because you're one damn teacher,
I'm telling you here, I don't give a fuck about it.

Alright, first day of school wasn't that bad.
Actually, I wasn't there for all my lessons.
Physically there but mentally drifted into the content of Dorothy's novel.
But still, I did my PAC assignment, just that I didn't get to hand in before she left.
All was fine until someone trying to find fault with me at the last lesson.
Was already quite irritated and angry because Boyfriend don't wanna answer my calls or reply my texts.
Then there was this person getting on nerve right after that.
Whatever~

Head over to Tampines and meet up with Dorothy.
Complained every single thing to her.
She is indeed a great listener. (:
Walked around the shopping malls alone after she went to meet her friend.
Continue searching for a present for my sister while waiting for Boyfriend to reach.
Bought one My Melody's head soft toy for her.
Kinda kiddish, but I don't really know what to get.
Beside, she likes My Melody so much as well.
Anyway, she didn't get to see or have her present until next week.
Because she went HongKong!
Like so crazy!
During this H1N1 period, she's actually going there for vacation.
And that means, Kiki is here with me! =DDD
Happiness~ LOL!
Though it's kind of irritating that she keep barking at my hamsters.
And I really fear that my Grandma will accidently let her run out again.

Time for bed.
Hopefully I can wake up on time later.

Fake.

2009-07-04T07:29:00.000+08:00

I'm left with the most tedious assignment - BZE case study 2.
I haven't even get an article.
Or should I say, I don't even have a newspaper to start with now.
After so many days of studying with the usual, I've only gotten so little things completed.
Tsk tsk.

Anyway, I really gotta thanks those that help me refill my cup of ice everytime.
Especially Jiani and Jacqueline.
Well, one time for Jacqueline only.
But still, thanks her because it was something she don't do.
And Jiani because she helped the most times!
Plus she's the first person to do that.
Damn daring she is.
Well, definitely sorry to her also.
Cause I keep wasting her time!
Hahahaa.
I kept postponing the time of our meeting just because I wanna sleep.
Ended up, she woke up super early because I told her I wanna eat breakfast.
But I wasted her time all the way until around 4PM.
Hopefully she get good grades after studying so many days.

I bet many people wonder why I could actually stay in the bathroom for so long.
Honestly, I don't know either.
I just find that place to be so relaxing, calm and actually blocked me out the world.
I can think properly and logically.
It's like a time for my reflection.
And I just did.
I reflected what happened today.

I asked myself why did I flared up at Boyfriend.
Answer being quite simple.
He got me really irritated.
Firstly, he give me some kind of big shot attitude by asking my getting off my book.
Which already piss me off but I managed to hold back.
I mean, yes, I know it's bad for my eyes to read at that kind of lighting.
But then, does he have to use that kind of tone to talk to me?
I feel so disrespected.
And given my attitude and stubborness, thing kinda got worse from there.
I just feel that it's kind of ridiculous.
Second, he always have this stupid habit of looking at girls.
I know, which guy doesn't?
But he is like practically digging his eyes out and look.
And keep repeating that girl is pretty, or this girl is pretty.
Which is really getting on my nerve.
1 year plus of being together.
I never had a day without hearing those words.
Even those days when we were out alone without his friends.
Really, if you want to have a pretty and gentle girl to be your darling girlfriend.
Sorry, please go find someone else.
I don't fit in that space.
I don't wanna do things just to fake that I can be that type of girl.
When very obviously, I am not and I will not be.
And then I got damn irritated when having late supper few hours ago.
When a pretty lady, without bra, on a pretty floppy dress walked pass.
The whole procedure started.
And he kept asking, "Got see not? She never wear bra leh! She very chio loh!"
Like over and over again.
I got so pissed that I just told him.
"The next time you're gonna say any girl chio, I'm gonna ignore you for 24 hours."
And he started attitude me.
Maybe it's the way I phrase it or the tone I used.
But whatever it is, I was really at the top already.
So tell me, am I at fault?

And then, today I did some stupid stuff.
I knew I shouldn't have send that text.
I admit, I was just seeking for attention. *If Rachel realise. =x
But I totally never expect that kind of replies!
Though it's not entirely surprising.
Somehow, deep inside, I just feel it's damn unfair.

I told him, when it comes to relationship, younger guys are more childish.
He said it's not true and he will prove it to me.
So I asked, How?
He replied, By time.
Short and sweet and even sound sincere.
But never true.
After so long, all I can see is the super duper childish side of a typical player.
I thought maybe this time I could see something different.
I'm not upset but I'm disappointed.

Okay, this is getting draggy.
I'm not getting my breakfast today also.
I'm damn lazy to go out now.
Not in the mood to sleep also.
I think I'd just stay awake until night and tune back my sleeping time.
I bet Boyfriend won't be happy reading all this.
This is indeed a long compo. (:

Study.

2009-07-03T00:13:00.002+08:00

Project meeting cancelled.
I went to ChoonBoon Mac to study with the usual.
And I didn't get much done.
They keep on talking and talking.
We're meeting tomorrow morning.
Hopefully, I get to have my breakfast.

I realise I'm getting kinda dull.
As in, sick of my usual life.
I want something different.
Can I request for some surprises? =x

Undone.

2009-07-01T02:46:00.000+08:00

I feel so bad!
I was late for meeting the girls for project twice.

Anyway, met up at Dorothy's house.
The recording was a failure!
We kept laughing and laughing.
And then the script was too short, which only last about 3 min.
We are suppose to do a recording for about 10 - 15 min.
We didn't even hit the minimum requirement.
Next meet up at Grace's on Thursday.
And they are meeting in the morning!

Damn, I don't even know whether I can wake up tomorrow/later to meet Agnes they all.
Seriously, a bit don't feel like going out tomorrow.
All my BZE assignments not done yet.
The worst is case study 2.
I really hate case study.
It's such a waste of my time.
Though I might not have anything better to do.
But case study is just crap.

Oh, oh!
Hammy survived!
And is back to the original cage.
No more loner! =D
Not yet recover but boyfriend suppose the other hammies will miss him.
So he decided to put him back.
He seem happier back there as well.
Hopefully it will improve his recovery speed also.
Heheh.

I think I better end here.
Grace Tan is trying very hard to infect me with her virus now.
Before I display any of the symptom.
LOL!!

Confusion.

2009-06-30T03:56:00.000+08:00

And again!
So much terrible thing happening.
Kiki bited one of male my hammy earlier.
While I was cleaning up the cage.
Well, I don't really know what exactly happened.
Because it was Boyfriend playing with that hamster and Kiki.
Or rather Kiki playing with that hamster.
Whichever it was, Kiki injured the hammy.
And caused it to bled on one side of it's eye.
Initially, Boyfriend and I thought that hammy couldn't survive.
It was such a shock.
Luckily, it did survive up to now.
Tonight will be the critical night for him.
I feel so bad for the hammy. )=
Boyfriend feel damn guilty.
Cause he was the one who took it out.

Twice this week, I scare the hell outta myself.
First time when Kiki ran out.
I thought I couldn't find her anymore.
This was the second.

Plus, I'm feeling damn itchy all over.
And I don't even know why exactly!
Argh!
Spots like rashes are forming.
But I just can't confirm they are rashes!
What the hell is wrong?
My mind is somewhere else also.
Something is wrong with me seriously.
Only thing is that, I don't know what is wrong.
Somehow, I think I don't even know what I'm typing already.

You.

2009-06-27T22:59:00.002+08:00

Just this few days but it feel like quite a lot of things happened.
So so much that I don't even know where to start.
And thus, I decided not to post about anything.
Well, obviously there are good and bad things.

I've been feeling very weird lately.
Like part of me gone.
Like there's a missing piece.
But I just can't put to word what exactly it is.

Have been rather slack on my homework.
In fact, I've only done my PAC assignments.
The main problem would be BZE.
With the practice paper to be done, newspaper article and I've to study for the upcoming test on the first week of school reopen.
And I'm so lazy to do research for our CMB project.
Argg. Whatever.

Recap.

2009-06-24T01:37:00.002+08:00

Had a talk with him over MSN.
Which ended up in tears.
So long since then, finally I dare to open it up to him.
I had never been so honest to him.
And it actually feel so great to get it off.
But not totally yet.
He still don't seem to be convinced.
Yet I could feel his concern then.
If only things were as simple as now.
It won't have such ugly situation then.
He said,
If a guy want that girl, they will treat them nice.
When they get them, they just throw them aside.
Which I find it super true.
Like I said, the more you don't want that person, the more that person want you.
Ironic, I know.
I don't know what he might tell others about me last time.
But I supposed it was really my fault.
It's okay if I have a bad reputation with his friends.
Cause that's what I've done.
I admitted and faced up to it.
I never thought I would ever have this much courage.
But I still did.
Thankfully, he did forgive me.
However I'll never forgive myself.

After the last whole busy week, I finally have some time for myself recently.
But I find myself asking people out to accompany me.
Suddenly I just don't feel like staying alone.
I just want someone to be there by my side, literally.
And then I realise, it was damn hard to have one.
Sometimes you just have to depend on yourself.

For every text message I received, I wished it was from you.

Missing.

2009-06-22T13:04:00.004+08:00

Maybe we sort things out.
Maybe it's just hidden away.

Somehow, I don't know why but the feeling just don't wanna leave me.
I keep thinking and thinking about it over and over again.
Then I tried to ask myself why.
Couldn't find any answer, couldn't find anything.
And I don't know how to make the first move.
I just don't have the guts to do so.
Perhaps when school reopen, everything will be back to sqaure one again.
Whatever it is, no one get to know.

I miss you.

So Much For Everything.

2009-06-21T00:43:00.002+08:00

This is getting dumb-er by second.
It's totally pointless for the conversation to continue.
You're not listening to what I'm trying to say.
Neither am I do so.
I know my fault long ago.
I know you wanted me to change.
But the thing is, it's never easy to change.
And you never know just how hard I've tried.
I gave up trying.
It's too much for me to handle.
Because no matter what I've done, it's wrong.
No matter what I wanna do, it's wrong.
No matter what I say, it's always wrong.
I can't even stand up for myself.

Then again, if I'm trying so hard to change.
What about you?
Do you understand a single thing I've told you?
Have you ever think about what's really affecting me?
Do you even know what is it that you did makes me really irritated?
If you say wanting me to be puncture is just such a simple thing.
Then what about the one thing I'm asking from you?
Tell me then, which is even easier?
Basic respect.
It's really countless times I've told you.
I couldn't even remember when did I start telling you.
It've been so long..
And nothing change.

Who's the one being stubborn?

Out of Way.

2009-06-20T16:17:00.004+08:00

It's ridiculous, totally!
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
This is so damn crazy.
I don't want that stupid part of my life to repeat itself again.
That was the most ever regretful part of my life.
Self control!

Went out with Rachel last night, last minute.
But supposingly was going to find Boyfriend at Jurong.
However, I couldn't make it there on time.
Because I only left house at 2030 for town.
And cause of that, we quarrelled again.
Like over and over, it's about the same thing.
No matter what I said, he never listen.
Whatever he said, I take it as nothing.
We both never change.
And thus, things got out of hand, fights and quarrels come along.
Terrible.
I want my honeymoon period back. )=

Just when my side are so unstable, he popped out.
Truthfully, I misses that feeling.

Dreadful

2009-06-19T13:35:00.005+08:00

I've never wish for a bus journey to be faster;
never had I ever wish for a bus to arrive earlier.
(Except for times when I'm late. However this isn't the case.)

Anyway, trip to Sentosa was fun!
But honestly, it wasn't well planned.
The food are real spicy!
And I went back home with a bad sunburn.
Well, at least is not as bad as YeMing's and Victor's.
Their bodies are all red!
Mine is only at shoulders there.
And my lips are so sore that is it so red even without lipstick.
This will be the only chance to see my with my red lips.
Cause normally I'd look so pale that my lips will also be pale.
And even if I apply anything, it will definitely not be red like this.

Boyfriend keep finding fault with me.
Don't know what's wrong with him.
Tsk tsk.

Additional.

2009-06-18T03:24:00.000+08:00

Boyfriend decided to buy 2 female hamsters after the day I fed the 2 males with cotton candy (candy floss).
One female is still very small.
The other is super duper active.
At first I'm afraid they will fight.
But it seem like they get along well in the cage together.
Today we went to bought some extendion of the cage.
Anyway, the cage just stink much much more after the additional of that 2 hammy.

I'm heading to Sentosa in less than 10 hours time.
And I'm still wide awake!
The girls are gonna kill me when they know this.
Hopefully I'll be able to wake up on time.
Which I suppose I can, given the wake up call by Sandy.
And then follow by every ten mintues Grace's call.
All the way until I'm fully awake.
LOL!

Hopefully we will enjoy our class outing.
But honestly, I really wish it wasn't at Sentosa.
Whatever.

Crazy

2009-06-15T01:02:00.000+08:00

I just fed my hamsters with candy floss. =P

15th.

2009-06-13T23:52:00.000+08:00

I dislike your respect.

Friday skipped my last day of school.
And also missed my breakfast with the girls.
*Guilty*
I was the one who planned, end up I never go.
As said, I owe each of them a meal.
Reason for all this - staying up the whole night before.
And I don't know why either.
Honestly, shouldn't have followed boyfriend to Jurong on Thursday night.
Spoilt my sleeping time, missed school and such.
Worst is the main purpose of him going down to Jurong gone pointless.
Cause he was supposed to study for his paper.
But I was there, so he couldn't concentrate much.

Friday night, went Haiji Lane or was it Arab Street?
Whichever, went there for sheesha with a bunch of crazy guys.
And it was a terrible choice.
Venue sucks.
Temperature sucks.
People sucks.
Sheesha sucks.
Though it was my first time.
I'm not enjoying any of my time there.
For the fact of it, I never once smoke anyway.
But then again, I'd very much rather boyfriend always go sheesha-ing than smoking every now and then.
Oh, I think the only few things I like there would be the UV light and probably the TV show and the music.
Supposingly the candle could be added in as well.
But halfway through, the candle died off.
So I got nothing to look at after they switched off the TV.
And actually, I couldn't hear much of the music due to the few other groups of people being damn noisy. (Even though we aren't very quiet as well.)

I want a change.

F.T.W

2009-06-05T21:04:00.002+08:00

Today was the last day of examination.
OFA was the last paper.
And I already knew I had made at least one mistake.
Tsk tsk.
PAC was another headache.
The outcome was totally ridiculous.
Hais!

Someone's mood hasn't been good.
In fact, I believe it's one of the worse.
I wonder why.
Those things are avoidable.
But it still happen.

Well, you want me to respect you.
At least show me some basic respect first.
Afterall, I'm still a girl.
No matter how tomboy I am, how close I'm to/with you.
I still need the respect for a girl from a guy.
No point showing me those nonsense.
I don't take that.
You wanna be idiotic, I'll show you what it really means.
You wanna show me attitude, by all means.
But don't complain that I'm always showing you attitude.

Anyway, I lost something very precious. )=

Missing.

2009-05-27T21:27:00.002+08:00

Well, I didn't know there are so many misunderstanding/conflicts and what-so-ever around me.
I always thought this class is a very bonding one.
But it seems like the other way round.
Each and everyone finding fault with another.
I suppose they are the type that can laugh together but can't cry together.
Simply put it as, they enjoy with you.
But you suffer alone.
Is that always the case?
During Primary school, we're still too immature to understand things like this.
During Secondary school, we only hang out with people who are close to you.
Though backstabbers are everywhere as well.
During Nitec, people are just making use of others.
Either as a companion or just a stepping stone.
Now in Higher Nitec, people don't just backstabbing.
They would just directly kill you right in the face.
Should I classified all this as immature/childish?
I know it's totally none of my business.
But look, I'm gonna be with this class for the rest of the year.
I don't wanna be the middle person/the good person/the bad person.
Maybe leaving it neutral would be the best.
Why care?
They don't even bother about you.
It's just such a disappointment.
I thought things can be better here.
Hais.

I suppose thing went overboard.
A supposing fun topic actually make someone totally upset about it.
But it seem like no one notice.
Saddening.
Today is just now a very nice day, isn't it?
Tomorrow will be a better one, not.
I'm having PAC mock test tomorrow!
Plus due date for BZE tutorial.
Terrible me.
To think that I actually took cab to school.
For the sake of having my attendance marked for SW.
Ended up with no attendance due to my stubbornness and laziness.
Anyway, SW teacher is a very fucked up one.
Not flexible, not reliable and a total gone case for a teacher.
Luckily I'm not the type that like to exercise.
She simply just make me dislike Wednesday.

I really hope things would be better. )=

Fun.

2009-05-27T02:25:00.000+08:00

School with 2 lessons for today.
Dorothy pang seh me!
Grace also didn't come school.
Both lazy bums. =P
And then Ikea at Tampines with YeMing.
Super fun.
Heheh.
I like the meatballs.
But the cheesecake taste weird.
Met up with boyfriend after that.
Then down to YanXiang's until late.
Cause was doing homework.

I suddenly find myself in a whole loads of homework.
CMB project, I don't know a thing yet.
BZE, tutorial 3.
LPD, resume and cover letter.
PAC, actually nothing for this, just that there is one assignment I haven't do due to absent.
See!
All the modules got at least one thing to do right now.
Tsk tsk.

I think I better avoid boyfriend recently.
He's getting hot temper lately.
Do guys have PMS too?
Or he is the only one?
X=

Sick.

2009-05-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

Eye swollen, blocked nose and flu.
All because of dusts!
Damn it.
Make me suffer so much this few days.
Went down to Tampines to see the powerful doctor.
She one shot gave me a cream to apply for my eye, a pack of tablets for swollen, another pack for easy breathing/comforting my nose and another of antibiotics .
All together with a slip of MC for today.
Plus being exempted from Physical training for a week.
Damn shiok!
Wednesday no need to suffer that crazy woman lesson.
Heheh.

Missed out a lot on school stuffs since last week.
Didn't attend school this morning due to my eye.
And, well, was kinda lazy also.
School's getting better everyday.
But I'm still not enjoying myself there.
I don't want things to turn out bad.
I wanna continue my studies.
At least a Diploma would be a lot better.

Rush.

2009-05-24T03:20:00.002+08:00

I handed in my Case Study 1 on the dot at 4.30 PM.
Well, maybe just slightly later than that.
But still acceptable alright!
I still took cab back to school just for that.
The worst is, when I asked another teacher for call for my teacher to come out, he went into the staff room and say, "Erick, 有小孩子找你!"
Which means, "Erick, got little kid looking for you!"
YanXiang just stood there and laughed on the spot.
Then that Erick Chua come out and say, "You little kid then my nephew is what?"
Irritating lah.

Anyway, I only just realise yesterday that IT fair started this week.
Once I have not work for fairs, I forgotten the date of it.
Last time used to have people updating me about me.
Asking me to do the job for this and that.
I think I rejected too many offers.
They never contact me anymore!
And it's bad because I want a job so badly now.
However, I'm afraid that I can't cope with studies and work together.
The person that's gonna suffer most from my unable to cope-ness will be boyfriend.
Cause, very naturally, I'll tends to vent my stress/unhappiness/anger on him then.
Hais!
See how is my result before I go searching for a job.

分手两年后我还是想着你
多久没有见过你现在你住在哪里
只怕有一天我们都会老去
只想留一点回忆
能够让我们依靠
为什么人总要等到失去才珍惜
我来不及想告诉你
要永远不分离

School.

2009-05-21T13:56:00.002+08:00

Didn't attend school today as wasn't feeling well.
And I'm stucked here now at Ngee Ann Poly due to someone.

Case study for BZE is a total trouble.
I can't find a suitable article!
And tomorrow is the due date.
I'm so gonna be in deep trouble.
So many assignments have not done.
So many things not yet do.
I'm finding my time is not enough for everything.

Last time thing used to be..
I have too much time in hand.
Now, I'm lacking of time.

Kinda regret not going school today though.
I missed a lot of lessons.
Hais..

Sometimes I wonder, whether coming back to school is the right thing or not.
My environment keep changing time and again.
I'm so not used to adapting.
It's not as easy anymore.

Yeah.

2009-05-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

He said he was being childish 2 years ago.
I say, it was more like I was darn stupid then.

But it was a great outing today.
I feel so great now.
The feeling is like finally I lifted the burden off me.
However, there's something like emptiness inside me.
I don't know why.

Have been quarreling with boyfriend lately.
My emotions have been going up and down dramatically.
Terrible.
Time for self reflection.
Tsk tsk.

14th

2009-05-14T22:42:00.001+08:00

Two days back.
Things become worse though.
Just when I thought everything is turning out fine

It's not.

Baluku.

2009-05-09T20:46:00.000+08:00

The big big bump on my head is still there!
And it still hurts!
Roar!
And my hamster bited me.
So naughty.
That 2 hamsters got 2 totally different personality.
One is super active.
The other is super lazy.
Always sleep sleep sleep.

I think I've been a bit out of this world when I was schooling the past few weeks.
I don't seems to know what's happening around anymore.
Wake up, school, home/out, sleep.
And it just keep repeating over and over again.
I think I neglected a lot of people.
*Sigh*

Anyway, few weeks back..
Someone - rare, requested to meet me.
Which was like, a super duper big shock to me.
Cause I've been imagining when will this ever happen.
However, sadly, it was too late then.
Plus, I was having school the next day.
And I never hear from the messager since then.
So ended up, no meeting with him.

I think humans are a complete idiot.
Literally, this is a world full of idiots.
Why?
Because we always do useless stuffs.
Things that have side effects.
Or even things that directly affect people around, or even the person themselves.
Dumb, isn't it?
It's just something we can't control or change.
Whatever.
Actually, I'm kinda looking forward to the day the world end.
Crazy, I know.
But that's just how I'm feeling.

I like the way I feel in school.
The feeling is so carefree.
Seriously, I never wanna step into the working environment ever again.
It's so freaking stress up every single day.
Whatever happened at work doesn't seems to affect.
But whenever upon reaching home, everything that seems to disappear,
just appear outta nowhere.
I always just don't have the time and energy to react to it.
School is a total different.
I go to school, study or maybe just slacking around, cause basically, I know almost all of what those teachers are teaching currently.
It doesn't have anything that appear out of nowhere.
I can just go to bed peacefully.

Perhaps, those were the stress caused by my families.
Or maybe everything was just an illision.

Hammy.

2009-05-08T23:57:00.001+08:00

I bought my hamster yesterday!
Both males though.
Cause we didn't want them to breed so fast.
I think they must be so poor thing to endure the ride home from White Sand all the way to my house.
Luckily we took cab back and not bus.
If not, they might have already fainted halfway through.
Well, the worst part came true.
I was really worried about leaving them with my Grandma at home.
Cause after seeing how she used to treat Kiki.
I just have those phobia of leaving small animals with her.
Is not like she will abuse them.
But more like giving them the wrong things to eat.
And, well, maybe just slightly more violent with them.
Afterall, that's how they used to treat pets/animals in the past.
When I came back about an hour plus ago, my hamsters were squeaking!
I really don't know why.
Perphaps is the tv volume was too loud.
Or maybe something did really happened when I wasn't around.
Boyfriend was scared the hell outta him when he heard them squeaking.
He got so worried about them, and kinda ignored me when I was in terrible stomachache just now.
Tsk tsk.

Anyway, Boyfriend's mother and a few others of his relatives just head over to Shanghai today.
I went down the aiport to send them off also.
Kinda weird though.
His daddy was there too.
The super scary looking face he has.
He didn't talk to me also.
And Boyfriend bought Kinder Surprise!
It is damn expensive, S$8.00 for 3 chocolate eggs.
Er, it's S$7.50 with the GST though.
But it's still damn expensive!
So, it was one for me, one for himself and one for his sister.
After sending them off, the two of us went to see aeroplanes taking off.
Didn't saw much but saw a lot of weird weird aircraft.
White Sand again, to collect my contact lenses and he buy his stuffs.
And accompanied him to see doctor at Tampines.
While waiting, I saw Noel with his girlfriend.
So long didn't see him, we were like staring at each other first then smile.
LOL.

I think I need to see the doctor more than he does.
Because he bumped my head against the wall edge when I went his house to put my bag.
What a big bully he is.
And it's really swollen right now.
Damn pain.
I was having trouble washing my hair just now.

Off to bed soon.
So tired after waking up constantly so early for 5 days.

Start.

2009-05-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

I'm stucked!
I actually forgotten how to do my PAC homework.
Either I'm too lazy to really think or I really forget about it.
Ahhh!
I'm so not in the study mood already.
Like just after a week of school!

And I noticed, my tummy is getting bigger and bigger, rounder and rounder!
I must have ate too much unhealthy food throughout the whole year.
It's like everytime I got nothing to do, I'll find snacks to eat.
I bet when I start my SW, I'd have a terrible time.
Oh, and I haven't get my SW shirt yet.
And polo tees...
And skirt... I think I only need one more.
AND A 90% BLACK SHOES!
That's the stupidest part.
I saw one that I really like at Converse.
But it's so expensive.

Boyfriend said wanna keep hamsters.
And he only can keep them at my house.
How nice of him.
Throw the responsibility to me.
But then again, I also wanna keep.
Heheheh.
Shall wait until his next payday.

Time to get back to my homework.

Tiring.

2009-05-01T01:57:00.000+08:00

Had a long long week.
School got me waking up at 7 almost everyday.
So glad that it's public holiday tomorrow, or rather later.
Boyfriend wanna bring me to roller blading again.
But I doubt it will happen.
Because he is so dead like a log on my bed right now.
He actually just went to wash his legs without me nagging.
And then automatically went up my bed.
I kinda realise that I tends to neglect him when I'm using the laptop/desktop.
Like becoming my bad habit.
Gotta wake him up later and chase him home.
LOL!

I got this thinking of doing my homework right now.
But it is like insane.
Look at the time.
I bet my mind is half asleep already.
After so many days lack of sleep.

Anyway, today lessons were fun.
Cause basically we weren't having any lesson.
Except in the morning.
I think this is the first time I ever laugh so much in a day after so long.
The 6 of us went to Junction8 had lunch during our 2 hours break.
Few of those malays actually went all the way to Causeway Point.
I think I'd be too lazy for that. =P
BZE teacher was blur.
He actually didn't remember that our lesson was on 2PM.
He came at nearly 3.
We spent the whole lesson chit chatting.
Then CA didn't teach much.
I think he did teach.
But I didn't listen.
Because those are things that I already knew.
So I was playing facebook all the time.
=P

Last lesson was ended within 10min.
Good and bad.
Cause I want boyfriend to fetch me from school!
But last lesson was supposed to end at 5, and today it's 4.10.
So I had to go all the way down to Tampines and look for him.
Took bus with Dorothy and chatted about those dirty things.
Not sex, porn or whatever lah.
Reached Tampines around 6.30PM.
Boyfriend was having R3 and R4 at 6.50PM.
So it was totally no point for me to go down actually.
But that guy was so irritating.
So to avoid conflict with him, I went down.
And he missed his R3 and R4.
And BLAME me for that.
Whatever it is, I'm not holding the responsibilty.
Cause it have totally nothing to do with me.

I'm gonna buy my bag, water bottle and shoes tomorrow!
Damn BishanITE.
Can't we just wear any shoes?
And that place is so hot.
I might dehydrate there anytime.

Hot.

2009-04-27T23:50:00.001+08:00

First day of school!
Met Jacqueline and Wanling at foyer.
Was late, took cab.
And damn!
It was so hard to get a cab in the morning at my area.
Plus I was so odd one out!
Cause I'm the only one wearing home clothes.
Kinda attention seeker lehs.
But no choice, no more stock for smaller size uniform.
Have to wait until Wednesday.

Anyway, my class's fun!
I was real worry about being alone for most of the time.
However, they didn't left me out much.
Greatly appreciated it. (:

Lessons in computer labs are okay.
But lessons in classroom is a killer.
I could just sit there, doing nothing and still sweat.
It's really pathetic.
Can't they either add more fans or even air conditioners?

Gotta sleep!
Have to reach school by 7.50am tomorrow.
Yawn~

I hate POA/PAC.